Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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