why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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