marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
