there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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