none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
