Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
