whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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