Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
