So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
