It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize