So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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