yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
