they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I am one with the molecules
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
