My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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