So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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