I skipped work to stalk him.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
