Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
