On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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