At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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