I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
