I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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