i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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