Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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