He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
