Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
40s are totally the cure
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
