There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
