so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sex in the backyard? Check.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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