I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
