Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
