I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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