so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Someone came in the potted fern
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
