So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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