Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
