IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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