honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
