Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
