Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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