She went from zero to smokin in five shots
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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