FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
