I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
