He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
