Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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