so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
