one might say we're banned from that church
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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