i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
