I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
