Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
