his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
