she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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