I wannas sexs uuuuu
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
