I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize