I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
