She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
