There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
