fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
