i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
