one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
