i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
babies were throwing up all over the place
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
