Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i out mim tonsoeep
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