i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
from now on my penis is your penis
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my shit smells like andre
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
