I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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