He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
