Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
