fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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