Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize