Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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