There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
time to smoke my breakfast
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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