I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
