Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
