We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
