It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
